


Harsh

by melwil



Category: Spooks | MI-5
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-11
Updated: 2011-04-11
Packaged: 2017-10-17 22:37:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/182028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melwil/pseuds/melwil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry’s thoughts in the middle of 3.10</p>
            </blockquote>





	Harsh

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted in 2007

Harry hated the way his words sounded, the way they fell so easily from his lips. He hated the expression on Ruth’s face, the barrier she was beginning to build between the two of them. He wanted to stop, wanted to say something that would make everything better.

But there was no time to make people feel better. There was a job to be done.

He wondered when he had become so cold, so focused on the job. He knew that people were hurting all around him. He knew, somewhere inside, he was hurting too. But his training, his experience automatically overrode emotional reactions. Somewhere along the line he’d become a little less human, allowed his heart to become harder. He’d turned into some sort of machine.

He walked away from Ruth, his words echoing in his head. Part of him wanted to turn back, to pull her away from her computer, away from this mess. Part of him wanted to hold her, to make sure nothing this dreadful would ever touch her again.

But he had to keep moving, had to keep his mind sharp and focused. He had to think of Danny as a number, an anonymous agent. He had to forget that the people around him had real human emotions, that they were slowly falling apart.

He had to forget that Ruth was beginning to mean something to him, that he cared about what she was feeling.

Every inch of him knew it was the right thing to do.


End file.
